Curtain Call

My friends just can't understand this new me, that's understandable man but just think how bananas You'd be, you'd be an animal too, if you were trapped in this game and caged in it like a zoo. And everybody's looking at you, what you want me to do?  I'm starting to live like a recluse and the truth is fame starting to give me an excuse, to be at a all time low. I sit alone in my home theater, watching the same darn DVD of the first tour, the last tour, he was still alive.  And it hurt sore, fast forward, sleeping pill'll make me feel alright and if I'm still awake in the middle of the night, I just take a couple more, yeah, you're MF right. I ain't slowing down for no one, I almost homeward bound.  Almost in a coma, yeah, homie, come on, don't look now. Byron. Don't you die on me, Byron, better hold your ground. MAN! don't I know the sound of that voice. Yeah, momma, hold me down. I'm going through changes.....Don't know what I'm gonna do, but I just keep on going through changes.....

It's time to finally put an end on the Pacific Ocean Therapy posts, I've went through my journey to face the dark memories head on, and from listening to Eminem's Recovery album has helped me out a lot.  That has to be one of the best albums ever! So like I said, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I just keep on going through changes, it's time to the end the show....The show that everyone who knows me has seen. I feel like, it's time to grow up and become a man. I'm 20 years old and have been through so much. I've been living off of life, instead of living for life. Meaning taking the responsibilities.....

I have a whole different life to live for now.  I realized that I need to go and get away from here as soon as I'm through with college, start ALL the way over and take only a few with me.  I'm leaving Alabama, Mississippi or any places that are close to home....I remember listening to Gil Scott-Herron song, and in the lyrics he say, "And it might not be such a bad idea, if I never. Never went home again."  It might be a great idea, if I never went home again....Talking to my best friends help me think a lot, whenever we catch up on life and reminisce on the good times we shared at high school, we also talk about our future, who's gonna get married first or have a kid and stuff like that.  The future is all that matters right now, even though tomorrow's not promised, it seems logical to think ahead instead of now because what we concern our matters with for the future will decide what we do today, right now at this moment. Or at least it should...I understand that things come in the way of our future thinking, but we should know now not to let it get to us, because one interference can lead us on whole different path....a path we may not want to take.....

I now have to pick up where I left off and get back on the road, I'm destined for. I finally realized that I'm different from other people for a reason....God has something special for me....something that's going to affect this entire world for the better....it's been on mind for quite sometime, and I know it's not there just to be there.  I just ask God, take over my mind and soul and lead me to where it is I need to go.

I guess on the next blog, I will present the next Blog title.....I'm not exactly sure what it's gonna be called or what I'm gonna blog.....quite frankly, i don't know what I'm gonna talk about....but we'll see what happens.....As I stand upon this stage, whether I get boo's or praises.....I tell my family and REAL friends they can close the curtains now.....


Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Bullet-Proof Souls

I am the king of self-depreciation, somebody help me please! Creation, I must've been left out of it. Left out of it. I guess being left means I'm out of it. But then again you left me when I was out of it. So tired, I doubt these words will make sense. Unless you had found it in a sense. Look at the mirror and look down at yourself, look down, there's a crown that may help. I asked for help before, but I guess I need to shelter more. Feeling like Helter Skelter, when I melt the door, I meant knock. But then again this won't stop. Most opinions get taken out of context, which is why my dreams is considered a complex, I'm blessed!

I think I'm slowly approaching the end of my Therapy, I hope that my words take you through your darkest memories with confidence instead of fear.  Making your days much better.  I still fear my darkest memories often, but it's something about them brings me back to them more and more.  It's as if my confidence is feeling comfortable to fear. It takes me to another dimension in my thinking when I'm either listening to music, writing, or dwelling on issues I'm concerned with in life. This entry is another one I fear the most but can't get enough of.  That's the fear of paranormal activities from unrested souls.

Question: Do you believe in ghosts?

I think I have enough proof to know that ghost do exists. Listening to true stories of unrested souls from hospitals, prisons, homes, all over the world.  Souls being murdered and never being solved, gives me the chills.  I often watch Forensic Files and one thing about that show that sticks to me the most, basically paralyzing my mind when I see it, is the photos of the murdered victim. It's as if the picture they show, leaves their soul in it and I can feel it. I feel a sudden rush of fear over my body instantly. I feel like if a person is murdered that their souls are not rested. Where do our souls go when we die? What will happen if we are murdered?

I'm not sure if you remember the Bud Dwyer blog I wrote, but I read that one of the cameramen filming that day, was mentally impaired for the rest of his life.  I know that God talks to us, but what do ghosts say to us for those that can hear them? Could the voices in my head be ghosts? I don't know. I do know that whatever I hear or you hear, listen to them. They could be giving us directions to somewhere we need to go. I don't know. I'm still trying to overcome that fear.  The Ghosts that I feel after I realize they are around.  I hate that feeling.....seeing them and what happened to them. But I love the feeling they give me.

It's amazing to just think waaaaaaaaaayyyyy back to the beginning of things....where do ghosts come from? How did they get here? Are they real? What happened? Why did this happen?

Do you believe in ghosts?

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::