Pacific Ocean Therapy

And as the days go by, I thank God for watching mines. Praying that I remain in fire. The same man that I was, which starts from the other mind phrase. Was it the dreams I think my time came. For me to venture off into different dimensions. The beginning, the ending, of my time.

I needed to blog today, so much is going on in my head. I figured out a new blog name. Pacific Ocean Therapy. This is gonna be different, kind of epic and thought provoking, maybe a little to dark. I'm not sure how long this will last but like I said, I don't know what's gonna happen from here on but follow me from the inside.  Let's see where life takes me, you, the world.......

I chose the name Pacific Ocean Therapy because Pacific actually means peaceful sea, so in essence, I'm gonna go through a dark period of blogs. I remember writing these words...."These dark alleys in my ain't nothing new. A slew, of ideas appear right along the way. These bad memories kind of make me have a better day....."

Some of the posts will be very graphic so I apologize in advance for the things that will be posted on here. So where do I start now, first off, I'm listening to music as always. No iChill tonight...Man I need to go home...Or I need to get away, some days I feel like I am going crazy, because the voices are taking over my thoughts....I think this will help me face these voices, put some control over them......

Some people get accused for doing right, why is that? It takes one bad opinion to spread around more bad opinions. Never knowing how a person feels on the inside. That's why I can't judge anyone for their good deeds or bad deeds. I never been in their shoes to understand why they do the things they do. That draws the question, do you believe in second chances? I don't know.....

What kind of pain do we go through? How much pain can we take? Before we completely give up or do we? What keeps us going? Can we find peace?? All these questions I ask because the video, I'm about to post is really graphic and I advise you not to watch it, if you don't like seeing death.....

Now this video is R. Bud Dwyer. For those who don't know his story, read about it. He was a political guy that pretty much got his reputation destroyed.....I'll leave it at that....

What kind of reputation do our peers give us?

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

From Concrete Thoughts to............

You're like a dream come true. Music's a dream come true. I got dreams of music, you wanna see my dream come true? For every night when I dream girl, I dream of you. Every time I say dream girl, I think of you. There's nothing for me to do, but to tell the truth.

I just took an iChill, so I'll be out probably after this blog. It's been a long day, new views on life....well I wouldn't necessarily call it a new view on life, but a more clearer view. Almost as if my life started in a cloud of smoke and day by day I'm wiping the smoke away. Sometimes I end up going into the direction where there is more smoke. I'm pretty sure I'll get out. I guess that's how everyone feels when they are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"I wouldn't mind blowing my ear drums out, as long as I can still hear music." That sounds like a famous quote from somewhere, I'm not sure but I just made that up. I'm pretty sure that I will be coming back to that quote some day soon.....iChill is beginning to take it's effect, I have like the perfect mixture of drugs right now, I feel so good. Some people should try this, like I have NEVER in my 20 years have felt this good in my life. Incense burning, RELAXING music destroying my ears...I say relaxing music because you can't play Heavy Metal overdosing on this drug.....and I just took a shot of iChill. I'm loving this feeling. Is this the feeling of being high?

I'm closing the Concrete Thoughts blog and transitioning to something else. I will reveal the title of that blog on the next entry. It may be tomorrow, or next week, not sure yet. I need to vent for awhile on it, to be certain that this is what I want to call it.  I'm pretty sure it will be worth the wait, not just for my readers, but for me as well.  I'm about to start looking at things much more differently. I don't know what's gonna happen from here on out, but follow me and watch me closely, from the inside.....

By the way, please be patient with me on the story, I haven't forgot about it, just taking some time to this....

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Full Moon Philosophies

Praise God, it's hard to stay spiritual. How they got these people on the TV selling miracles? You mean to tell me everything gone be fine, if I call your hotline, and pay $29.99? Okay! Well why you ain't say so? Take this cash and check, I got to multiply all my pesos.

I think it's been a week since I last blogged. I went on a small hiatus from the social networking world. I was very discreet when I did get on facebook. But like I said a few posts back. I may not blog as much because of school. Very busy for me this year, like I expected. So far, I'm not as stressed or worried. I would usually slack a little because facebook would take over my life! Facebook is an addicting website. The High School of future, with very minimum education required. All social.....

I'm back on my reggae music and incense sticks, that whole environment or feeling around feels so much relaxed. I'm pretty sure, that will help me survive this semester. Getting a natural high off scents and music.

My first day of school again...18 August 2010. Well all of my classes are in the same building, so it's pretty much impossible for me to be late for any of my classes except maybe my first one. Other than that, I won't be late. New students, old friends....extreme competition so let them games begin! I have a lot of work to do by Monday and I don't know where I should go with this. An old Chinese Proverb says, the journey always begin with the first step. So I guess it's time to pick up my foot and walk this path.....Today was the most tiring day of my semester so far, I help build a house, I can't believe that I got a chance to that. You know when dogs urine in certain spots, to leave a mark, that's how I felt, I was leaving a part of me out there that meant something. Giving the homeowners a piece of my life, which is what I want to do in my career.

I got this song on repeat right now, it's time to clear my mind. I got too much on it right now. I don't even know how to even take control of it. Maybe it was never meant to have control of....Only surviving off lyrics and......and..........

This song is SO POWERFUL....I love it......LYRICS.....R.I.P. Israel Kamakawiwo Ole'



Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

World Championship Wrestling Federation (WCWF)

Right now my mind elsewhere, my mom's health care, get her out this hell here. So farewell to them broke days and bonjour to the most paid. I see the clouds from my window, I pray the sun gon' shine this way. And where I go as the wind blow, mother your son gon' find his way, and if I got to crawl I'm a make it to the end though, up to the top if I climb my way. And tell you I'm a rise I'm on my...Headed to the sky, I'm on my way...

So today is the day, I go back to school. I'm so ready.....I think lol...I guess as soon as I get situated, I will blog about my return. Won't be much to say..........

I had a childhood moment. I remember when I was younger, I was obsessed with wrestling. Wrestling was my LIFE! I was thinking about watching WCW at first, and the greatest wrestler Goldberg would come out to the ring and EVERYONE would chant his name, GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG! I would get so excited when he wrestled! I'll post his entrance on here..Then I had my WWF moment, when the rock would smack talk every wrestler in the business! And it would be funny! So today, I give you TWO videos! lol

Hmmmm, how to make sense of my thoughts....So much, I think I only figured out how to not think about my thoughts by adding more things to my thoughts. If that makes any sense. So, I realize that adulthood is approaching. My mom was like I have an apartment and I will probably get a job next summer....but not back in my hometown.....After I get back to school, I lose my room....Welcome to Reality, Mr. Belle...One of the voices in my head say. And I say, I'm glad to be here.....So as I take this Journey through reality, I'm searching for a place to reside and make comfortable. Where is the Yellow Brick Road at? Lol hmmmm........

Story time....It continues where I left off about waiting....waiting....

I jump up quickly and realized, I was dreaming....It's time for me to get up and get ready for school....I'm a senior at high school....This is supposed to be the best year of my life! This is my WORST year ever, I lost my best friend to a drunk driver, my mother is hung over on drugs, and I never met my father. What a life I live....As I'm walking to class, I put my headphones on and drifted away. Music is the only thing, that clears my head when I want to get away from every thing...

In my History class, I daydream about my earlier childhood...how much fun I had with my best friend going on wild adventures in our imagination. Our favorite cartoon show was Dragon Ball Z and we used to imitate the characters. We knew that somewhere out in this world, we would train and become powerful like them and save the world....Thinking about that put a smile on my face. It still doesn't change the fact that I have no friends here. Most people see me as the weird guy, so they don't bother me. That's how I like it, I don't want to be bothered by anyone...

To Be Cont............


Best Entrance EVER!!! Who has an entrance that started from their locker room to the stage with fans chanting your name? I can't lie, I used to chant his name in front of my television!





Now this video is all the funny clips of The Rock! He had the charisma and the confidence....but it was entertainment that was needed in wrestling that made it interesting. I think what we see now, is wrestlers "over acting" some of it is not necessary...but oh well here it is...



Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

The Attempt

I tried blogging from my phone, that didn't go so well. Here's what I wrote...........

My father said I need Jesus. So he took me to church and let the water wash over my Caesar. The preacher said we need leaders. Right then my body got still like a paraplegic. You know who you could call, you got a message then leave it.

Less than 48 hours left before I make the trip to school. Back to "reality." I feel like I've been living in a dream like life this whole summer. I did what you are supposed to do in the summer! Sleep all day, hang with friends, and not worry about a thing! I don't I've had a summer where I didn't do anything. Although I loved it, I hate it as well. I wanted to have a more productive summer. You know, keep myself in shape.....Mentally....but my mind, I guess wasn't ready to get back in the motion of working. I know I've made reference about me being tired physically and mentally, but you have no idea how tired I was. If you could see how many hours I slept in a day, you would have an idea....

I'm attempting a lot of things right now...like I'm blogging from my phone, I hope it comes out good! Also, I'm attempting to fast for Ramadan! Its not easy, but I'm willing to try! Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. It is the Islamic month of fasting, in which participating Muslims refrain from eating, drinking and sexual activities from dawn until sunset. Fasting is intended to teach Muslims about patience, humility, and spirituality. It is a time for Muslims to fast for the sake of God or Allah and to offer more prayer than usual. During Ramadan, Muslims ask forgiveness for past sins, pray for guidance and help in refraining from everyday evils, and try to purify themselves through self-restraint and good deeds. Although I'm not Muslim I do have much respect for the belief so I will try my very best to fast this month, I think that Muslim belief about Fasting is very interesting and true.

I was going to continue my story but I'm pretty tired. I want to overdose on these drugs tonight. Good drugs.....drugs that clears my thoughts or at least give me control of them. I thank God for giving me ears, mind, and heart for this drug. Like, seriously, I think I would go crazy if I didn't have these drugs. Btw, Music is my drug....this what I meant when I said finding love.....again..........Right????

Love, Live, Life 

:::Byron Belle::: 

Finding Love......Again

The heart in the haystack where could it be? I've searched high and I've searched, but still cannot see.  I guess I will try again tomorrow. How can something so joyful, cause so much sorrow?  Love....Oh what a word to feel!  The heart in the haystack, I know it's real!

In my previous blog, I stated that I will write a story. I've been working on a story, but it's very hard to come up with a story on the spot. I guess I understand why authors take time to write stories. I'm not gonna do a story unless I have done some research or some studying.  I've been listening to audio podcasts of horror stories, because I find it more interesting than anything. But hopefully it will guide me to becoming a story teller....I will write a story today, but I'm not gonna write a full story blog.

So other news.....I finally figured out how to blog from my phone! This is probably the best news because I want to blog at night when I'm laying down or when I'm on the road with my friends. So be expecting more blogs from me during my very little free time at school.

So yesterday, I found my headphones and listen to some music. I forgot how much powerful it was! The sounds really opened my eyes. It felt like I was at place I've been longing for for years. To describe my feeling, my mind took me to a deserted island. The weather is perfect. I'm sitting at an open fire, with the sweetest fruit to feast upon. The sounds of the ocean crashing on the shore is peaceful. It's a full moon up....

So after pretty much overdosing last night....I bring to you a story....I don't have a title yet, I'm writing the story as I write this blog...so follow along as I ATTEMPT.....lol

My troubled life, I'm not sure where I will take it. I can't give up. I've been the so-called loser at love, I'm forever putting my all in the relationship only to get hurt in the end.  Maybe it's me, I'm not sure.  Here I stand on the cliff ready to relieve my heartache and pain, but I'm afraid to jump. Now I sit here, thinking..... reminiscing.....I feel the tears roll down my cheeks....Why can't this feeling go away???? 

Then I hear the most sweetest voice whisper in my ear....."Let go....be free....look down the cliff.....what do you see?" I see rocks and water that's all...She says it again......"Let go....be free....look down the cliff....what do you see?" I look deeper down the cliff and I see peace....She tells me to jump and everything will be okay

So now I'm standing up with my arms spread out waiting.....just waiting.......

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

The Eye (i)

All around me are familiar faces.Worn out places, worn out faces. Bright and early for the their daily races. Going nowhere, going nowhere. Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow. No tomorrow, No tomorrow.

On my next blog, I want to tell a story. I'm not exactly sure what it will be about but I'm gonna go with the flow. The story may take one or many blog posts but we'll see how it goes. I want the stories I do to be special to anyone. It may be a story from my personal life or something I made up. We'll see......

If I can't make a good story, then I will stop...I want to try something different. Add to my artistic life. I want to expand so if I'm ever noticed for something in my life. I want to be noticed for my artistic life...

Look me in the eye and tell me what you see....Do you see pain? Joy? Anger? Wisdom? Pride? I know a lot of people in my life. I often ask myself, will they make it in life? Especially my friends from elementary. I never thought in a million years that some would drop out or go down the wrong path. It's appalling to me because we shared so many great memories together and now we don't.  I guess its true when they say, don't rush growing up so soon.  Go back and read my blog From a Bunny to a Rabbit...the link is HERE....

I pray to God that my art fills the hearts of many people in this world....I want you to see what I see. Feel what I feel. Know what I know. Love what I love.....

I feel like Will Smith on Seven Pounds in a way. Giving people a part of me for their lives. Except I'm not choosing who I give it to.  The decision is yours to accept it or not....

As I recall I seen all of my dreams fall. I never thought that I would make it this far. What do I see? FLASHING LIGHTS. Now I'm living my dreams. FLASHING LIGHTS! Click HERE FOR LYRICS!




Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Mental Sèance

Out on your own. Cold and alone again.Can this be what you really wanted? Blame it on me. Set your guilt free. Nothing can hold you back now. Now that you're gone, I feel like myself again. Grieving the things I can't repair and willing...To let you blame me. And set your guilt free. I don't want to hold you back now love. I can't change who I am. Not this time, I won't lie to keep you near me and in this short life, there's no time waste on giving up my love wasn't enough....


I ran out of Incense Sticks day before yesterday and now my feel hasn't been the same.......I just feel like something is missing now. I'm okay just ventilating on the sounds that surround my mind, my body, and my spirit....

This may be the first time I've had this moment, but when I was writing the beginning of the blog, I was looking at it from a whole different point of view that it was meant to be looked at....For instance, the beginning of my blog is somewhat a love story...but read it again and it felt like losing a spirit...evil? or good?

School begins in less than a week for me. At the beginning of the summer, I was far from ready. I was completely drained physically and mentally for the majority of the summer.  I guess that's the reason why I didn't go out looking for a job or put in the effort to do it.  The questions still comes to me.....Am I ready for school to start? I really have no idea....I guess I won't know until the day comes...

Sometimes I want to confront the thoughts in my mind or at least have some control over them. Sometimes I want to understand my thoughts more. Like they have a personality on its own and they express themselves through me.The reason I say thought(s) plural is because more than one thing is in my head. Like My mind is a bowl of alphabet soup and none of the letters are same....if that makes any sense....I guess I'm trying to make a word out of these letters....no I'm not crazy or going crazy...I have pretty good sense to know what I'm saying and how I say it and when I say it....That's one thing I dislike in this world....People are always being judge FIRST by their looks, then by the people the are friends or associates with, then by what they say, and lastly their beliefs....

Why do we do the things we do when we don't want the same things done to us? Can someone prove to me that they are not the same? I figured that with my next relationship, I want someone who I can relate to mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically........

Now for some mood music.......

I decided to post the link to the lyrics to each song I post...it's easier to understand sometime...so click HERE!!!



Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Incense Sticks and Reggae Music

Are we born not knowing, are born knowing all? Are we growing wiser, are we just growing tall? Can you read thoughts? Can you read palms? Can you predict the future? Can you see storms...coming? Can you read signs? Can you read stars? Can you make peace? Can you fight war? Can you milk cows, even though you drive cars? Can you survive, AGAINST ALL ODDS...Now?

I may have found a new hobby to do! It helps me feel......free and tranquil. Most times when I want to get away from life mentally, I just listen to music that have some of the deepest lyrics in it like Scarface, Evanescence, Chamillionaire, J. Cole, Charles Hamilton, Lauryn Hill..........Speaking of Lauryn Hill....Her Unplugged album is some deep stuff! Every time I listen to it, I feel more comfortable in my soul.  I'm slowly but surely branching out into different genres of music.  First it was Hip-Hop and R&B, then came along Pop, then Blues, then Gospel, then Rock, and now to add to my forever expanding mind......Reggae.  I used to just listen to it if it was on the radio, but I would never get a reggae cd.......but I went into this store the other day and all they played was Reggae music and I liked it! The whole vibe was just relaxing...

What better mood than to burn incense and play Reggae music along with it? I felt clean..in my thoughts. Like a fresh new start was to come upon me.....

Could this be my reset button? My reset button to start over on what I want? Who I want? Where I want? When I want? How I want? and Why I want?

Do I REALLY want to press RESET?

This isn't fully reggae but it's definitely a good song......Sometimes it's difficult to understand what they're saying so click HERE for the lyrics....



Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Picket Fence

Natalia get ready for another one............

I'll try to find a place to start that make sense now. The first time I was pushed out blind. Cold and naked, spanked on the ass to breathe. An immigrant from heaven on earth with a word piece I announce myself with gasps and screams. Before black and white supremacy , heightened my innocence. I was living out life behind the fence. Happy go lucky scared of no one. With the only exception I'm allergic to the sun. Didn't know I had an image that a camera couldn't capture. 100% Allah's manufacture. But then came the laughter, and outside I'm battered. Picket Fence shattered. I saw myself as a bastard tag a long, harassed and spat upon. By the children of slave masters who passed it on.  The saddest songs been sing at the hands of who I call the race from hell, it's a disgrace from hell. Fell face first into self hate, burst into tears when I hear my own hellish name cursed. If I seem timid, it's only because every mirror that I saw back then had the earths ugliest human being in it. And with that being said, they would kick me til I got tired or I act dead. And I have to tell you all that the obvious part. That I always feel free when I'm talking to God! Alone on the playground, friday afternoon and the, old sister who hums gospel tunes. I saw her, noticed her getting closer. She approached me and put a knowing hand on my shoulder and booked my feelings, cause she looked at me in a way, that adults very seldom look at children, and with the wisdom only earned by years. She read my thoughts and she welled up with tears and said,

"You look the way you do, because you're special. Not the short bus way, I mean that God's gonna test you. And all of this pain is training for the day when you, will have to lead with the gift God gave to you. Grown folks don't see it but the babies do, and there's a chance you can save a few."

My page is currently under construction, but I still will blog when I get a chance.....

I recently moved into my new apartment, so ready to get back on track with my life, summer was cool...but i get tired of sleeping my life away and doing nothing. Its time to get up, get out cut that bull s*** out! classic line from an old song!

Sooooo many decisions to make.....you ever hate the feeling when one day your life is cool and the next day it's not good? Well it's a part of life, I will get over it....I guess I know what I need to do.....

I think I want to work on my idea tonight.....ALL NIGHT......

And time will prove that, she started my movement. She didn't tell me to take it. She told me to use it......

So I used it........

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::