Episode 5: Unofficially Official

Misses so fly, crash lands in my room.  Can't waste no time, she might leave soon. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't say you will, you do.  Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't say will, if you will. I pray you will.

The journey seems to get heavier with each song that plays. Right now, I'm able to manage this load, but soon it will get harder to walk.  After reminiscing about my first girl. I press play on the ipod and Kanye West-Say You Will plays...Some of the songs that reminded me of my exes are not even closely related lyric wise....it just happen to be the song, I had on repeat when they came in and out of my life.  This girl is someone special to me, even though we never actually made us official, we had a relationship.

Prior to our unofficial official relationship, we were just social friends. I would send her message and we would just talk about the current and left it at that. One day, I decided to chat with her through my hectic school schedule. Little did I know, she had more planned in our conversation than expected.  Now I find it very interesting when a girl gives you their phone number without you asking them.  I guess I didn't look at our friendship getting beyond just being friends because, like I said, I'm just the average Joe Schmo guy to public.  So when she gave me her number, I was thinking cool, new text buddy.  She actually called me. And we really kicked it off. I guess you can say, I played my part good. I kept a good, relaxed mind.

She was beautiful girl. Her senior year in high school. My freshmen year in college. I didn't know how this would work out, but hey, I'm willing to give it a shot.  She was my best friend's enemy. His ex-girlfriend best friend. Lol. It was pretty crazy because I was really feeling this girl at the time and I didn't know how he would react to that situation. But all in all was cool. surprisingly. I was just ending my first semester of college, still trying to stay sane in all of my insanity. We figured that we would be official by Christmas day. It wasn't said, but it was all implied.  I was ready, she was ready, but something completely turned that decision into a U-turn.  It was all my fault, I lost control and she ran.  I became so excited that I was talking to a really hot chick lol.  So me being the nerd I am, began to say things that I didn't know if I meant. I guess all I wanted was to have her heart, and when I knew that I had it. I could let mine go and give it to her.  It was only a few days before Christmas when she ran away.  My heart quickly became heavy, but I was emotionally unstable. I was more of a content soul. Just thinking about what had happened. Another lonely year for me. Another lonely Christmas. Only the beat plays to Say You Will.... the heartbeat still shows that I'm alive...my moment of peace has been found. I can relax and try again....but when and with who?

I apologize for my insecurity. Or my security that defined the purity that's deep within me.
Let's make amends only to see. That maybe, just maybe. That camp fire is still smoking from when we left.
I must admit, that our little incident kinda grabbed me by the neck.
Here I stand, another year. All alone. The only thing I have now is friends, family, and a cell phone.
We were so close, I could see the finish line right in front me.
We were side by side when you decided to run from me.
Now what's the point of racing when you're the last one in it?
Should I continue, or should I just give in and quit it.
I thank one music artist who gave me confidence to stay strong, because without it
I could've been another dead and gone. But they ALWAYS say, what doesn't kill makes you strong.
Not having that special kind of love from being alone, does kill you. It kills your mentally.
It takes you away from reality, because in your mind. Time stopped moving.
Sometimes I wanna say forget Love, because I'm always losing!
I thought these Love songs would be my cheat codes for the game.
Only to find out the I always lose the same. With the faith I have, I continue to master the cheats
So I know that the game, would be another defeat. And if so, I'll learn my past and make better for my future.
I wish you the best, my Unofficial Official Ex.  As for me, I have to start over fresh......

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Episode 4: Taking a Trip Down Memory Lane

Do you remember, when we fell in love? We were young and Innocent then. Do you remember, how it all began? It just seemed like Heaven, so why did it end? Do you remember, back in the fall? We'd be together, all day long. Do you remember, us holding hands, in Each other's eyes? We'd stare (tell me). Do you remember the time, when we fell in love? Do you remember the time, when we first met? Do you remember the time, when we fell in love? Do you remember the time?

Where do I start with this? My mind is like a time bomb waiting to explode. Time to release some things I never let go. I feel like I need to observe some things in my past so I can understand what it is I'm understanding....yet again. These stories I have in my crate are my stories of my past relationships.....I only want to observe the ones that were most effective to me. This will take awhile, as I talk about the joys, the pains, the sunshine, and the rain. via Frankie Beverly and Maze. So before I depart on my journey to the past, I need to prepare. I think I'll pack light this time around, and wherever I end up, I'll camp there and start fresh for a need day. I feel like Forrest Gump when he just ran and ran and ran and ran, because he just felt like running. I don't think I can keep running so, I'm going to walk. No hitchhiking needed this time around, but my ipod is a must. It seems like every girl, I've dated, there was a song that reminded me of them, so this will be helpful in my journey. it's amazing how the same things that can help you can also hurt you..or even kill.....

As I stare out at the world, nothing is moving....it's quiet...the weather's perfect. Almost too good to be true. Not ready to press play, I just wanna walk and feel again.....have that feeling of sanity again in my mind. I may seem calm to others but in my head, I am on the verge of losing it. Who know's what may happen if I lose it? I just want to make sure that when I come back or if I ever come back, I'm here with right mind state I need to be in for my soul.

It's funny that I chose to wait before I listened to my ipod, because my first girl......there isn't a special song that reminded me of her....and it's not a bad thing because she was definitely someone special in my life.

My very first girlfriend, I can't believe that she remembers us...because it happened way back in daycare. The puppy love.  When I moved away, I never thought that we would ever meet again. I hit middle school, and I see her again, walking away in the distance.  All of the memories I remember of her. I thought what if we were together again? Would it be like it was back in the day? lol.  But after seeing her again, i didn't see her for another few years.  The next time we meet, it would be at a ball. My best friend wanted me to be her date. Then I see her........I'm speechless, don't know what to do...should I go speak to her? Does she even remember me? All of the thoughts that were running in my head that night? Then I came up with the perfect idea.....I'll look for her on Facebook, and talk to her from there! So I find her, and I write her and the first thing I said, you probably don't remember me.....and her reply was....actually I do remember you....Now we're friends, we talk very little....maybe because we are doing our own things in life at the moment, it's difficult to re-light any flames at the moment...because we never actually did break up, I just left.......

The trip down memory lane, from the joys to pains
to the songs that reminded me of you and you and you
how else can I remember the things you do?
You are definitely someone special to me
because you made me who I am
whenever your song came on, I always pictured us together at a specific moment in time
the moment that I wanted to last forever, only if we stayed together
then my dreams would come true. Now that you're gone.
I think of who? a new you. Someone who is or could be better than the last you
or are you all the same? Maybe we're all playing the game, or ya'll are playing without me
so you begin to we. what we have, had, could have, or could have had.
I'm not saying I'm mad, just sad that we never got to a point in our life that could last.
I can only learn from you and what you done to me. I will never change through all the hurt and tears
I will grow in Love each and every year. Just wait and you will see, that what I told you how I felt
will soon come true. because after I've been through all of the yous...my last you will be who?
It will be you. Whoever, wherever you are. Better than ever, but never too far.......

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Episode 3: Love Songs

It seems like the signs are getting clearer, the time is getting nearer. I finally can hear ya, when you speak, as a whisper, through the wind. I want you to do it again, I'm your true blue friend, The music is when, I get to prove to you how true it begins. Where am I? Somewhere asking, "Where are you?" "Does your man care for you?" That's what I'm here to do. Spend a lifetime telling you how sweet you are. Through sex and questions, see how deep you are. I believe you are, I know you wouldn't say what you say, everyday if your word were just play. But you don't say much, it's all vibes. And it only looks real, when the crystal ball shines. Spending all time of the night in a day dream. Thoughts of you make me trip across time.

Another day is gone, and the same things always happen. Go to class, eat lunch, and go home.  My life has been a simple schedule for the past two years now. Well that's how long I've been single, but I've been having an affair with my ex, I don't think her boyfriend knows.  I feel kinda bad that I'm having sex with another man's girl, I would hate to be in his shoes....Well I've felt like that plenty of times before. You know right after the break-up. Your girl decides that she's ready "fuck" again, but it's not you.  It still feels like a low blow, because the feelings you had for her are still strong.  But now that I've moved on with my life, sex is sex to me now.  But like I was saying, my life has been a complete schedule for the past two years.

On the way to my apartment, I decided that I would try something different.  It's a three day weekend, mostly everyone is going home and I just want to go through my old music collection. So I arrived to apartment, and quickly I turn on the radio and I place my headphones over my head.  The first song that comes on is, "Come Close" by Common. All of sudden, I'm laying on the floor zoned out, just thinking of the good relationships, the bad relationships, and the relationships that had potential of being something.  It's amazing what music can do to you mentally. I feel like God and music made me the person I am today.  My family paid a big role, but God and music, was the IT factor for me.

I remember being a kid, listening to all the love songs, I just knew that I had the answer to what love is and what I can do for my future girlfriend.  Sometimes, the good love songs talked about the potential of perfect love.  For example, I remember Tyrese-Sweet Lady song asking the girl would you be mine.  The girl in the song sounded perfect, she was the one.  I never knew, at my age, that women had flaws just like men. As far as women being hurt by men. I found out men gets hurt as well.  But Love songs, just have something special in them that doesn't show the process of growing in relationships. Maybe they do, I don't know. I was more focused on, how to love a woman and I can honestly say, that everything I know and have shown, came from the Love songs I grew up on.

Some Love Songs, just send chills down your spine because it feels so real. Just imagine your life being a musical and one song comes on while you are with the woman or man of your dreams.  You will definitely over look all the lies, arguments, and negatives in the relationship.  You would hope that a relationship would be perfect.  Sometimes when I picture myself with the girl of my dreams, wherever/whoever you are, I just know that I will have a special gut feeling in my stomach.  The kind of feeling you have when you feel like something is wrong, but that would be time when that gut feeling is for the best.  That's how I feel about true love.

I picture myself before marriage, having this special friendship/relationship with the woman of my dreams that every time I am with her, nothing in the world matters but our moment. Enjoying life without the fast lanes in our view. Maybe I've been watching too many love stories.  But then again, if we never had these stories, how are we able to express love? Do they express love the right should be the question to ask?

As I'm lying here, headphones blasting
I go into a zone, that is all about passion
In this zone, it teaches me, shows me what love's potential may be
I ask my ancestors (music), to come and please save me
I know how to love now, but can someone appreciate what I have to give?
Sometimes I feel like my love is dead, and I ask and ask, Can I live?
No matter how far I go, see no matter how long it takes
No one or nothing can change, forever whoever, wherever you are. Here I stand.
If these Love songs are right about love, then how can I go wrong.
well I've been wrong, since day one. Because yet and still, I haven't found that ONE
Maybe I'm too young to even consider settling down.
I know I'm not the only one who thinks their time is now.
In each relationship, we all think he or she is it.
We love them so much, we love to put up with the bullshit.
It's true, love will make you do some crazy crazy things
Love will make you have some crazy dreams.
Love is what love does, so that means love is everything
Now as I doze off fast asleep, the last love song plays......

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Episode 2: The Silhouette

Whoever, Wherever you are. Better than ever, but never too far.  If I can just log off and walk out the room, to see if she exists, because it's  awful to assume.  So l et me just let God talk through you. Hold it together man, don't let your mind rule you too much. Cause when you think too much you screw up. But I can't stop writing theses letters to the stars. So goodnight babe whoever you are. Goodnight babe whoever you are. I said goodnight babe whoever you are. Forever you are. Forever my charm.

After my recovery, I have found myself sleeping a lot not waking up on time for anything.  Or I feel like I don't have the energy in me to get up and get ready.  I lay in bed, tossing and turning drifting into a dream that seems so real. I end up only a few meters away from the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.  The only thing is, I can't tell who she is, but her presence gives me the feeling that she is definitely someone of importance to me. Her hair blows in the wind, with the sun behind her. I feel the intensity of an eclipse, nearly blinding me.  She slowly walks away from me and I run to her and ask where is she going, what's her name, and why is she here!?!  I get no reply. I know that she exists, she's my fantasy, the woman of my dreams. The Silhouette.

My alarm goes off for the third time, I get up so I can go about my regular activities.....but always having her in mind.  When will I be able to meet the woman of my dreams? Or is she the woman of my nightmares?  Maybe she doesn't even exist and I'm just wasting my time searching for nothing....no one.  I know I'm not the only one searching for the man or woman of our dreams. Has anyone even found that special person? One thing I do not understand is when we say we want something and have it, it's not what we REALLY want, because the things we describe are perfect to us, but we know that perfect doesn't exist so we forget or wish for something less than perfect, so we won't feel bad about hurting that as much as we would if it was perfect.  Simply for our satisfaction, our happYness.  Another way to look at it is when we hear about the perfect love in movies and realizing that the perfect is impossible in reality, it obliterates our ideal silhouette.

Now back to reality, here I am in class daydreaming about random things from how am I going to do this homework tonight, study for my bio test, why won't these people selling magazines leave me alone! And of course.......Sex.  It's been a long time since I had sex, so sex is constantly on my mind.  Picturing myself having sex with the hottest girl in my classroom. I know that sex with her is impossible.  She comes from a different background....flirts with the jocks on campus.  Me? To the world, I'm just the average Joe Schmo kind of guy.  I get the girls who are okay...they usually have more flaws about them than perfections.  Me being the guy that I am, try to overlook the flaws and give it a chance, because I realize you can't judge a book by it's cover even if read the book a million times.  You never know that person's mind state, where it came from, why it's the way it is...But for me, I've read that book everyday of my life, and I know what to expect from it. So it never surprises me that I am putting in more than I really should.

Now I must find the book about you.

Her, the girl of my dreams. So I can know that you are true.

I've been through the ups and downs of Love all my life.

That book I've been reading has always been right.

The music, the movies, my thoughts I write all down and take notes

Love is becoming a scientific problem and I'm getting close.

To solving it, and having an answer for all of us to look at.

But the closer I am, I discover something wrong and I have to back-track.

Then I back to where the question all started from.

What is love, where is it and how long?

Is it the forever changing world we live in that causes me this confusion

Or is the view of Love from MY eyes all an illusion.

Can you tell me what Love is, my beautiful Silhouette?

I would like for the world to know what it's like so they can never forget.

Not only the Love from the opposite sex, but love from being together in unity.

Friends, family, enemies, you, and me. The love we all need to feel.

Something so warming that is safe to feel. Now love just floats around the air,

Whenever YOU'RE ready to fall, I'll be there.  Now I know that you are Love, my Silhouette

Which is why I haven't seen who you are yet.

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Episode 1: The Resurrection

Moving down the streams of my lifetime, pulls the fascination in my sleeve. Cooling off the fire of my longing, boiling off my cold within her heat. Melting down the walls of inhibition, evaporating all of my fears. Baptizing me into complete submission. Dissolving my condition with her tears. It's just like water, I ain't felt this way in years.

After being drowned into the rubble of destruction I return as a newly refreshed soul. I've been on a hiatus since my last blog. Trying to find some sort of stability in my life. More of balance. I'm not sure if I have found it yet but of course, as life goes through its cycles, we go through ours; finding answers we don't know of. It's really interesting HOW we find certain answers.....I believe that some things we are afraid to ask, so we find the answers on our own...through the consequences we make or have made.  I, myself, have been through many trials and tribulations. I am thankful that I have made it this far in life. 

I'm sure, you are wondering where I'm going with the Loving in Lust....right? Well, I want to give my input on Love and Lust....Where I've been with it....people I know....and much more....It will be pretty interesting needless to say..

The Resurrection of Love that floats right above our heads

In my mind if feels like we are lusting when we are in bed

How can something so wrong feel so right?

Or is it how can something so right feel so wrong?

I have to  be strong, although my heart can't carry on

Something in me, continues to prolong my faith for

the perfect love I always see in the movies, or read in books

I dwell on the past..taking second looks. I get hooked on who

My first love, my last love. My new love, my past love. I love

her more than I love myself. We all gets lost, who will be there

when I need help? Then I'm alone, waiting and waiting......

Waiting and waiting some more. She's coming back, I'm pretty sure

Days past by...then weeks...I still wait....months become years.

I still wait....with this little faith, God I can't wait!

Thinking about the good times, puts a smile on my face. Tears of joy begin to take, not realizing that what we were is REALLY over. I still don't know if I should wait or move. My heart you see, is no longer strong. But in the back of my mind, I will find my fairytale love as I continue to walk this invincible road. Then I get this burning sensation deep within my soul, my feet feel light as the wings begin to take control. After feeling so low in my sorrow. I now know that there is a tomorrow. And I Rise.....

And I RISE

My Resurrection.

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Curtain Call

My friends just can't understand this new me, that's understandable man but just think how bananas You'd be, you'd be an animal too, if you were trapped in this game and caged in it like a zoo. And everybody's looking at you, what you want me to do?  I'm starting to live like a recluse and the truth is fame starting to give me an excuse, to be at a all time low. I sit alone in my home theater, watching the same darn DVD of the first tour, the last tour, he was still alive.  And it hurt sore, fast forward, sleeping pill'll make me feel alright and if I'm still awake in the middle of the night, I just take a couple more, yeah, you're MF right. I ain't slowing down for no one, I almost homeward bound.  Almost in a coma, yeah, homie, come on, don't look now. Byron. Don't you die on me, Byron, better hold your ground. MAN! don't I know the sound of that voice. Yeah, momma, hold me down. I'm going through changes.....Don't know what I'm gonna do, but I just keep on going through changes.....

It's time to finally put an end on the Pacific Ocean Therapy posts, I've went through my journey to face the dark memories head on, and from listening to Eminem's Recovery album has helped me out a lot.  That has to be one of the best albums ever! So like I said, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I just keep on going through changes, it's time to the end the show....The show that everyone who knows me has seen. I feel like, it's time to grow up and become a man. I'm 20 years old and have been through so much. I've been living off of life, instead of living for life. Meaning taking the responsibilities.....

I have a whole different life to live for now.  I realized that I need to go and get away from here as soon as I'm through with college, start ALL the way over and take only a few with me.  I'm leaving Alabama, Mississippi or any places that are close to home....I remember listening to Gil Scott-Herron song, and in the lyrics he say, "And it might not be such a bad idea, if I never. Never went home again."  It might be a great idea, if I never went home again....Talking to my best friends help me think a lot, whenever we catch up on life and reminisce on the good times we shared at high school, we also talk about our future, who's gonna get married first or have a kid and stuff like that.  The future is all that matters right now, even though tomorrow's not promised, it seems logical to think ahead instead of now because what we concern our matters with for the future will decide what we do today, right now at this moment. Or at least it should...I understand that things come in the way of our future thinking, but we should know now not to let it get to us, because one interference can lead us on whole different path....a path we may not want to take.....

I now have to pick up where I left off and get back on the road, I'm destined for. I finally realized that I'm different from other people for a reason....God has something special for me....something that's going to affect this entire world for the better....it's been on mind for quite sometime, and I know it's not there just to be there.  I just ask God, take over my mind and soul and lead me to where it is I need to go.

I guess on the next blog, I will present the next Blog title.....I'm not exactly sure what it's gonna be called or what I'm gonna blog.....quite frankly, i don't know what I'm gonna talk about....but we'll see what happens.....As I stand upon this stage, whether I get boo's or praises.....I tell my family and REAL friends they can close the curtains now.....


Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Bullet-Proof Souls

I am the king of self-depreciation, somebody help me please! Creation, I must've been left out of it. Left out of it. I guess being left means I'm out of it. But then again you left me when I was out of it. So tired, I doubt these words will make sense. Unless you had found it in a sense. Look at the mirror and look down at yourself, look down, there's a crown that may help. I asked for help before, but I guess I need to shelter more. Feeling like Helter Skelter, when I melt the door, I meant knock. But then again this won't stop. Most opinions get taken out of context, which is why my dreams is considered a complex, I'm blessed!

I think I'm slowly approaching the end of my Therapy, I hope that my words take you through your darkest memories with confidence instead of fear.  Making your days much better.  I still fear my darkest memories often, but it's something about them brings me back to them more and more.  It's as if my confidence is feeling comfortable to fear. It takes me to another dimension in my thinking when I'm either listening to music, writing, or dwelling on issues I'm concerned with in life. This entry is another one I fear the most but can't get enough of.  That's the fear of paranormal activities from unrested souls.

Question: Do you believe in ghosts?

I think I have enough proof to know that ghost do exists. Listening to true stories of unrested souls from hospitals, prisons, homes, all over the world.  Souls being murdered and never being solved, gives me the chills.  I often watch Forensic Files and one thing about that show that sticks to me the most, basically paralyzing my mind when I see it, is the photos of the murdered victim. It's as if the picture they show, leaves their soul in it and I can feel it. I feel a sudden rush of fear over my body instantly. I feel like if a person is murdered that their souls are not rested. Where do our souls go when we die? What will happen if we are murdered?

I'm not sure if you remember the Bud Dwyer blog I wrote, but I read that one of the cameramen filming that day, was mentally impaired for the rest of his life.  I know that God talks to us, but what do ghosts say to us for those that can hear them? Could the voices in my head be ghosts? I don't know. I do know that whatever I hear or you hear, listen to them. They could be giving us directions to somewhere we need to go. I don't know. I'm still trying to overcome that fear.  The Ghosts that I feel after I realize they are around.  I hate that feeling.....seeing them and what happened to them. But I love the feeling they give me.

It's amazing to just think waaaaaaaaaayyyyy back to the beginning of things....where do ghosts come from? How did they get here? Are they real? What happened? Why did this happen?

Do you believe in ghosts?

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Hypnosis

Got up early, found something's missing my only name. No one else sees but I got stuck and soon forever came. Stopped pushing on for just a second, then nothing's changed.  Who am I this time, where's my name? I guess it crept away.  No one's calling for me at the door. And unpredictable won't bother anymore. And silently gets harder to ignore. Look straight ahead, there's nothing left to see. What's done is done, this life has got it's hold on me.  Just let it go, what now can never be.

This is for YOU....do you ever dream of me, the way I dream of you? If so, what do you dream of when you dream of me? Sometimes I think, I'm okay, that's until I fall asleep. Then I get all sort of emotions flowing through my stomach. Sooner or later, I'm sure I'll be okay.....I hope

Some say sleep is the kin of death. Most people desire to die in their sleep. Peacefully. I often think about what sleep can do to a person. Especially when we are dreaming. Some of my dreams seem to finish unanswered. Asking myself what could be if I just slept 5 minutes longer. What was she going to tell me. Who is she? I don't know.

Sometimes I dream about someone I have seen before, but never spoken to them a day in my life. I don't even know their name. It has to be a sign of something, I just can't piece it together because I never finish my dreams. Maybe I'm supposed to finish my dreams through reality....but how??

Then there are the dreams that seem to go on until you end it. One time I had a dream that seemed a little bit to actual. That I would wake up for maybe a minute or two then doze off and continue my dream from where I left off. Almost like a watching a show with commercials included. I enjoy those the most because it gives me a conclusion about what I was dreaming about. The only downside to the dreams are. it's not real.
Who am I dreaming about when I dream. Sometimes the dreams I dream of are the dreams I wish I never dreamed. Simply because, there comes a time in my life where I'm looking for a conclusion instead of a prolonging wish. It puts me at a standstill in my life, because the dreams bring the good times back that no longer exist. Dreaming of love with that special person that may never happen again. I ask myself, is every meant to happen this way for the better? Are my dreams a sign telling me to escape from it all or run right into it. I guess that's what holds most people back, never knowing the outcome of a situation because we are afraid of the bad answer.

What are we dreaming when we rest in peace?

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

The Hitchhiker

We are all here for a reason on a particular path. You don't need a curriculum to know that you are part of the math. People think I'm delirious, but I'm oh so serious. That's why I expose my soul to the globe, the world. I'm trying to make it better for these little boys and girls. I'm not just another individual, my spirit is a part of this, that's why I get spiritual. But I get my hymns from Him. So it's not me, it's He that's lyrical. I'm not a miracle, I'm a heaven-sent instrument. My rhythmatic regiment navigates melodic notes for your soul and your mental. That's why, I'm instrumental. Vibrations is what I'm into. Determination, dedication, motivation. I'm talking to you, my many inspirations, when I say I can't let you or self down. If I were on the highest cliff, on the highest riff, and you slipped off the side and clinched on to your life in my grip, I would never, ever let you down, and when these words are found, let it be known that God's penmanship has been signed with a language called love. That's why my breath is felt by the deaf. And why my words are heard and confined to the ears of the blind. I, too, dream in color and in rhyme. So I guess I'm one of kind in full house. Because whenever I open my heart, my soul, or my mouth. A touch of God reigns out......


It's been a long time since I last blogged. Actually, I was in the process of writing one, I think last week or week before last but I put it on hold. That blog was more about fear and overcoming it. I didn't even look at it again. I just deleted it. Maybe I was thinking to much and never knew what to blog about because like I said, this time around, my blogs were gonna be a little dark, hence the line.....These bad memories kinda make have a better day....or does it?

I'm not sure what to make of or summarize what has happened since my last blog, but it's definitely a lot. Thankfully I'm still sane.I still have enough in me to keep going, despite this intense schedule I have. Where does it all come from? I often I ask myself. Will I ever find the answer? I'm sure I will when I'm ready to accept it.

Many people say they want a fresh new start, but yet and still we the road we left seemed so much easier than the new one. Simply because, the old one has taken us much further than the new one. I think....Are we ready for a fresh new start in life? Is it worth it to start over? I don't know. An ancient Chinese proverb says, "to know the road ahead, ask those who are coming back." Is that why I'm hitchhiking my way to a destination I'm not so sure of? or am I trying to find my way back home....mentally.

I need some HITCHHIKING MUSIC
:::puts earbuds in ear and my thumb is sticking out:::

Let's see where I will end up.....



Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Pacific Ocean Therapy

And as the days go by, I thank God for watching mines. Praying that I remain in fire. The same man that I was, which starts from the other mind phrase. Was it the dreams I think my time came. For me to venture off into different dimensions. The beginning, the ending, of my time.

I needed to blog today, so much is going on in my head. I figured out a new blog name. Pacific Ocean Therapy. This is gonna be different, kind of epic and thought provoking, maybe a little to dark. I'm not sure how long this will last but like I said, I don't know what's gonna happen from here on but follow me from the inside.  Let's see where life takes me, you, the world.......

I chose the name Pacific Ocean Therapy because Pacific actually means peaceful sea, so in essence, I'm gonna go through a dark period of blogs. I remember writing these words...."These dark alleys in my ain't nothing new. A slew, of ideas appear right along the way. These bad memories kind of make me have a better day....."

Some of the posts will be very graphic so I apologize in advance for the things that will be posted on here. So where do I start now, first off, I'm listening to music as always. No iChill tonight...Man I need to go home...Or I need to get away, some days I feel like I am going crazy, because the voices are taking over my thoughts....I think this will help me face these voices, put some control over them......

Some people get accused for doing right, why is that? It takes one bad opinion to spread around more bad opinions. Never knowing how a person feels on the inside. That's why I can't judge anyone for their good deeds or bad deeds. I never been in their shoes to understand why they do the things they do. That draws the question, do you believe in second chances? I don't know.....

What kind of pain do we go through? How much pain can we take? Before we completely give up or do we? What keeps us going? Can we find peace?? All these questions I ask because the video, I'm about to post is really graphic and I advise you not to watch it, if you don't like seeing death.....

Now this video is R. Bud Dwyer. For those who don't know his story, read about it. He was a political guy that pretty much got his reputation destroyed.....I'll leave it at that....

What kind of reputation do our peers give us?

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

From Concrete Thoughts to............

You're like a dream come true. Music's a dream come true. I got dreams of music, you wanna see my dream come true? For every night when I dream girl, I dream of you. Every time I say dream girl, I think of you. There's nothing for me to do, but to tell the truth.

I just took an iChill, so I'll be out probably after this blog. It's been a long day, new views on life....well I wouldn't necessarily call it a new view on life, but a more clearer view. Almost as if my life started in a cloud of smoke and day by day I'm wiping the smoke away. Sometimes I end up going into the direction where there is more smoke. I'm pretty sure I'll get out. I guess that's how everyone feels when they are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"I wouldn't mind blowing my ear drums out, as long as I can still hear music." That sounds like a famous quote from somewhere, I'm not sure but I just made that up. I'm pretty sure that I will be coming back to that quote some day soon.....iChill is beginning to take it's effect, I have like the perfect mixture of drugs right now, I feel so good. Some people should try this, like I have NEVER in my 20 years have felt this good in my life. Incense burning, RELAXING music destroying my ears...I say relaxing music because you can't play Heavy Metal overdosing on this drug.....and I just took a shot of iChill. I'm loving this feeling. Is this the feeling of being high?

I'm closing the Concrete Thoughts blog and transitioning to something else. I will reveal the title of that blog on the next entry. It may be tomorrow, or next week, not sure yet. I need to vent for awhile on it, to be certain that this is what I want to call it.  I'm pretty sure it will be worth the wait, not just for my readers, but for me as well.  I'm about to start looking at things much more differently. I don't know what's gonna happen from here on out, but follow me and watch me closely, from the inside.....

By the way, please be patient with me on the story, I haven't forgot about it, just taking some time to this....

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Full Moon Philosophies

Praise God, it's hard to stay spiritual. How they got these people on the TV selling miracles? You mean to tell me everything gone be fine, if I call your hotline, and pay $29.99? Okay! Well why you ain't say so? Take this cash and check, I got to multiply all my pesos.

I think it's been a week since I last blogged. I went on a small hiatus from the social networking world. I was very discreet when I did get on facebook. But like I said a few posts back. I may not blog as much because of school. Very busy for me this year, like I expected. So far, I'm not as stressed or worried. I would usually slack a little because facebook would take over my life! Facebook is an addicting website. The High School of future, with very minimum education required. All social.....

I'm back on my reggae music and incense sticks, that whole environment or feeling around feels so much relaxed. I'm pretty sure, that will help me survive this semester. Getting a natural high off scents and music.

My first day of school again...18 August 2010. Well all of my classes are in the same building, so it's pretty much impossible for me to be late for any of my classes except maybe my first one. Other than that, I won't be late. New students, old friends....extreme competition so let them games begin! I have a lot of work to do by Monday and I don't know where I should go with this. An old Chinese Proverb says, the journey always begin with the first step. So I guess it's time to pick up my foot and walk this path.....Today was the most tiring day of my semester so far, I help build a house, I can't believe that I got a chance to that. You know when dogs urine in certain spots, to leave a mark, that's how I felt, I was leaving a part of me out there that meant something. Giving the homeowners a piece of my life, which is what I want to do in my career.

I got this song on repeat right now, it's time to clear my mind. I got too much on it right now. I don't even know how to even take control of it. Maybe it was never meant to have control of....Only surviving off lyrics and......and..........

This song is SO POWERFUL....I love it......LYRICS.....R.I.P. Israel Kamakawiwo Ole'



Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

World Championship Wrestling Federation (WCWF)

Right now my mind elsewhere, my mom's health care, get her out this hell here. So farewell to them broke days and bonjour to the most paid. I see the clouds from my window, I pray the sun gon' shine this way. And where I go as the wind blow, mother your son gon' find his way, and if I got to crawl I'm a make it to the end though, up to the top if I climb my way. And tell you I'm a rise I'm on my...Headed to the sky, I'm on my way...

So today is the day, I go back to school. I'm so ready.....I think lol...I guess as soon as I get situated, I will blog about my return. Won't be much to say..........

I had a childhood moment. I remember when I was younger, I was obsessed with wrestling. Wrestling was my LIFE! I was thinking about watching WCW at first, and the greatest wrestler Goldberg would come out to the ring and EVERYONE would chant his name, GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG! I would get so excited when he wrestled! I'll post his entrance on here..Then I had my WWF moment, when the rock would smack talk every wrestler in the business! And it would be funny! So today, I give you TWO videos! lol

Hmmmm, how to make sense of my thoughts....So much, I think I only figured out how to not think about my thoughts by adding more things to my thoughts. If that makes any sense. So, I realize that adulthood is approaching. My mom was like I have an apartment and I will probably get a job next summer....but not back in my hometown.....After I get back to school, I lose my room....Welcome to Reality, Mr. Belle...One of the voices in my head say. And I say, I'm glad to be here.....So as I take this Journey through reality, I'm searching for a place to reside and make comfortable. Where is the Yellow Brick Road at? Lol hmmmm........

Story time....It continues where I left off about waiting....waiting....

I jump up quickly and realized, I was dreaming....It's time for me to get up and get ready for school....I'm a senior at high school....This is supposed to be the best year of my life! This is my WORST year ever, I lost my best friend to a drunk driver, my mother is hung over on drugs, and I never met my father. What a life I live....As I'm walking to class, I put my headphones on and drifted away. Music is the only thing, that clears my head when I want to get away from every thing...

In my History class, I daydream about my earlier childhood...how much fun I had with my best friend going on wild adventures in our imagination. Our favorite cartoon show was Dragon Ball Z and we used to imitate the characters. We knew that somewhere out in this world, we would train and become powerful like them and save the world....Thinking about that put a smile on my face. It still doesn't change the fact that I have no friends here. Most people see me as the weird guy, so they don't bother me. That's how I like it, I don't want to be bothered by anyone...

To Be Cont............


Best Entrance EVER!!! Who has an entrance that started from their locker room to the stage with fans chanting your name? I can't lie, I used to chant his name in front of my television!





Now this video is all the funny clips of The Rock! He had the charisma and the confidence....but it was entertainment that was needed in wrestling that made it interesting. I think what we see now, is wrestlers "over acting" some of it is not necessary...but oh well here it is...



Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

The Attempt

I tried blogging from my phone, that didn't go so well. Here's what I wrote...........

My father said I need Jesus. So he took me to church and let the water wash over my Caesar. The preacher said we need leaders. Right then my body got still like a paraplegic. You know who you could call, you got a message then leave it.

Less than 48 hours left before I make the trip to school. Back to "reality." I feel like I've been living in a dream like life this whole summer. I did what you are supposed to do in the summer! Sleep all day, hang with friends, and not worry about a thing! I don't I've had a summer where I didn't do anything. Although I loved it, I hate it as well. I wanted to have a more productive summer. You know, keep myself in shape.....Mentally....but my mind, I guess wasn't ready to get back in the motion of working. I know I've made reference about me being tired physically and mentally, but you have no idea how tired I was. If you could see how many hours I slept in a day, you would have an idea....

I'm attempting a lot of things right now...like I'm blogging from my phone, I hope it comes out good! Also, I'm attempting to fast for Ramadan! Its not easy, but I'm willing to try! Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. It is the Islamic month of fasting, in which participating Muslims refrain from eating, drinking and sexual activities from dawn until sunset. Fasting is intended to teach Muslims about patience, humility, and spirituality. It is a time for Muslims to fast for the sake of God or Allah and to offer more prayer than usual. During Ramadan, Muslims ask forgiveness for past sins, pray for guidance and help in refraining from everyday evils, and try to purify themselves through self-restraint and good deeds. Although I'm not Muslim I do have much respect for the belief so I will try my very best to fast this month, I think that Muslim belief about Fasting is very interesting and true.

I was going to continue my story but I'm pretty tired. I want to overdose on these drugs tonight. Good drugs.....drugs that clears my thoughts or at least give me control of them. I thank God for giving me ears, mind, and heart for this drug. Like, seriously, I think I would go crazy if I didn't have these drugs. Btw, Music is my drug....this what I meant when I said finding love.....again..........Right????

Love, Live, Life 

:::Byron Belle::: 

Finding Love......Again

The heart in the haystack where could it be? I've searched high and I've searched, but still cannot see.  I guess I will try again tomorrow. How can something so joyful, cause so much sorrow?  Love....Oh what a word to feel!  The heart in the haystack, I know it's real!

In my previous blog, I stated that I will write a story. I've been working on a story, but it's very hard to come up with a story on the spot. I guess I understand why authors take time to write stories. I'm not gonna do a story unless I have done some research or some studying.  I've been listening to audio podcasts of horror stories, because I find it more interesting than anything. But hopefully it will guide me to becoming a story teller....I will write a story today, but I'm not gonna write a full story blog.

So other news.....I finally figured out how to blog from my phone! This is probably the best news because I want to blog at night when I'm laying down or when I'm on the road with my friends. So be expecting more blogs from me during my very little free time at school.

So yesterday, I found my headphones and listen to some music. I forgot how much powerful it was! The sounds really opened my eyes. It felt like I was at place I've been longing for for years. To describe my feeling, my mind took me to a deserted island. The weather is perfect. I'm sitting at an open fire, with the sweetest fruit to feast upon. The sounds of the ocean crashing on the shore is peaceful. It's a full moon up....

So after pretty much overdosing last night....I bring to you a story....I don't have a title yet, I'm writing the story as I write this blog...so follow along as I ATTEMPT.....lol

My troubled life, I'm not sure where I will take it. I can't give up. I've been the so-called loser at love, I'm forever putting my all in the relationship only to get hurt in the end.  Maybe it's me, I'm not sure.  Here I stand on the cliff ready to relieve my heartache and pain, but I'm afraid to jump. Now I sit here, thinking..... reminiscing.....I feel the tears roll down my cheeks....Why can't this feeling go away???? 

Then I hear the most sweetest voice whisper in my ear....."Let go....be free....look down the cliff.....what do you see?" I see rocks and water that's all...She says it again......"Let go....be free....look down the cliff....what do you see?" I look deeper down the cliff and I see peace....She tells me to jump and everything will be okay

So now I'm standing up with my arms spread out waiting.....just waiting.......

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

The Eye (i)

All around me are familiar faces.Worn out places, worn out faces. Bright and early for the their daily races. Going nowhere, going nowhere. Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow. No tomorrow, No tomorrow.

On my next blog, I want to tell a story. I'm not exactly sure what it will be about but I'm gonna go with the flow. The story may take one or many blog posts but we'll see how it goes. I want the stories I do to be special to anyone. It may be a story from my personal life or something I made up. We'll see......

If I can't make a good story, then I will stop...I want to try something different. Add to my artistic life. I want to expand so if I'm ever noticed for something in my life. I want to be noticed for my artistic life...

Look me in the eye and tell me what you see....Do you see pain? Joy? Anger? Wisdom? Pride? I know a lot of people in my life. I often ask myself, will they make it in life? Especially my friends from elementary. I never thought in a million years that some would drop out or go down the wrong path. It's appalling to me because we shared so many great memories together and now we don't.  I guess its true when they say, don't rush growing up so soon.  Go back and read my blog From a Bunny to a Rabbit...the link is HERE....

I pray to God that my art fills the hearts of many people in this world....I want you to see what I see. Feel what I feel. Know what I know. Love what I love.....

I feel like Will Smith on Seven Pounds in a way. Giving people a part of me for their lives. Except I'm not choosing who I give it to.  The decision is yours to accept it or not....

As I recall I seen all of my dreams fall. I never thought that I would make it this far. What do I see? FLASHING LIGHTS. Now I'm living my dreams. FLASHING LIGHTS! Click HERE FOR LYRICS!




Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Mental Sèance

Out on your own. Cold and alone again.Can this be what you really wanted? Blame it on me. Set your guilt free. Nothing can hold you back now. Now that you're gone, I feel like myself again. Grieving the things I can't repair and willing...To let you blame me. And set your guilt free. I don't want to hold you back now love. I can't change who I am. Not this time, I won't lie to keep you near me and in this short life, there's no time waste on giving up my love wasn't enough....


I ran out of Incense Sticks day before yesterday and now my feel hasn't been the same.......I just feel like something is missing now. I'm okay just ventilating on the sounds that surround my mind, my body, and my spirit....

This may be the first time I've had this moment, but when I was writing the beginning of the blog, I was looking at it from a whole different point of view that it was meant to be looked at....For instance, the beginning of my blog is somewhat a love story...but read it again and it felt like losing a spirit...evil? or good?

School begins in less than a week for me. At the beginning of the summer, I was far from ready. I was completely drained physically and mentally for the majority of the summer.  I guess that's the reason why I didn't go out looking for a job or put in the effort to do it.  The questions still comes to me.....Am I ready for school to start? I really have no idea....I guess I won't know until the day comes...

Sometimes I want to confront the thoughts in my mind or at least have some control over them. Sometimes I want to understand my thoughts more. Like they have a personality on its own and they express themselves through me.The reason I say thought(s) plural is because more than one thing is in my head. Like My mind is a bowl of alphabet soup and none of the letters are same....if that makes any sense....I guess I'm trying to make a word out of these letters....no I'm not crazy or going crazy...I have pretty good sense to know what I'm saying and how I say it and when I say it....That's one thing I dislike in this world....People are always being judge FIRST by their looks, then by the people the are friends or associates with, then by what they say, and lastly their beliefs....

Why do we do the things we do when we don't want the same things done to us? Can someone prove to me that they are not the same? I figured that with my next relationship, I want someone who I can relate to mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically........

Now for some mood music.......

I decided to post the link to the lyrics to each song I post...it's easier to understand sometime...so click HERE!!!



Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Incense Sticks and Reggae Music

Are we born not knowing, are born knowing all? Are we growing wiser, are we just growing tall? Can you read thoughts? Can you read palms? Can you predict the future? Can you see storms...coming? Can you read signs? Can you read stars? Can you make peace? Can you fight war? Can you milk cows, even though you drive cars? Can you survive, AGAINST ALL ODDS...Now?

I may have found a new hobby to do! It helps me feel......free and tranquil. Most times when I want to get away from life mentally, I just listen to music that have some of the deepest lyrics in it like Scarface, Evanescence, Chamillionaire, J. Cole, Charles Hamilton, Lauryn Hill..........Speaking of Lauryn Hill....Her Unplugged album is some deep stuff! Every time I listen to it, I feel more comfortable in my soul.  I'm slowly but surely branching out into different genres of music.  First it was Hip-Hop and R&B, then came along Pop, then Blues, then Gospel, then Rock, and now to add to my forever expanding mind......Reggae.  I used to just listen to it if it was on the radio, but I would never get a reggae cd.......but I went into this store the other day and all they played was Reggae music and I liked it! The whole vibe was just relaxing...

What better mood than to burn incense and play Reggae music along with it? I felt clean..in my thoughts. Like a fresh new start was to come upon me.....

Could this be my reset button? My reset button to start over on what I want? Who I want? Where I want? When I want? How I want? and Why I want?

Do I REALLY want to press RESET?

This isn't fully reggae but it's definitely a good song......Sometimes it's difficult to understand what they're saying so click HERE for the lyrics....



Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Picket Fence

Natalia get ready for another one............

I'll try to find a place to start that make sense now. The first time I was pushed out blind. Cold and naked, spanked on the ass to breathe. An immigrant from heaven on earth with a word piece I announce myself with gasps and screams. Before black and white supremacy , heightened my innocence. I was living out life behind the fence. Happy go lucky scared of no one. With the only exception I'm allergic to the sun. Didn't know I had an image that a camera couldn't capture. 100% Allah's manufacture. But then came the laughter, and outside I'm battered. Picket Fence shattered. I saw myself as a bastard tag a long, harassed and spat upon. By the children of slave masters who passed it on.  The saddest songs been sing at the hands of who I call the race from hell, it's a disgrace from hell. Fell face first into self hate, burst into tears when I hear my own hellish name cursed. If I seem timid, it's only because every mirror that I saw back then had the earths ugliest human being in it. And with that being said, they would kick me til I got tired or I act dead. And I have to tell you all that the obvious part. That I always feel free when I'm talking to God! Alone on the playground, friday afternoon and the, old sister who hums gospel tunes. I saw her, noticed her getting closer. She approached me and put a knowing hand on my shoulder and booked my feelings, cause she looked at me in a way, that adults very seldom look at children, and with the wisdom only earned by years. She read my thoughts and she welled up with tears and said,

"You look the way you do, because you're special. Not the short bus way, I mean that God's gonna test you. And all of this pain is training for the day when you, will have to lead with the gift God gave to you. Grown folks don't see it but the babies do, and there's a chance you can save a few."

My page is currently under construction, but I still will blog when I get a chance.....

I recently moved into my new apartment, so ready to get back on track with my life, summer was cool...but i get tired of sleeping my life away and doing nothing. Its time to get up, get out cut that bull s*** out! classic line from an old song!

Sooooo many decisions to make.....you ever hate the feeling when one day your life is cool and the next day it's not good? Well it's a part of life, I will get over it....I guess I know what I need to do.....

I think I want to work on my idea tonight.....ALL NIGHT......

And time will prove that, she started my movement. She didn't tell me to take it. She told me to use it......

So I used it........

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

End of the Voyage (Part 3 of 3)

Let me show you what life appears like when I appear in the light because Life is kinda like. A bright shade to accentuate a nice day. Positivity is the only right way.

I never thought in a million years that my words can have such an effect on person. On my previous blog L word or Stir of Echoes....I wrote something, kinda like a poem or a song....but when I wrote it....I wrote it thinking about love and life at the same time. I knew it was some powerful lyrics in it but it didn't dwell on me as much.....UNTIL.....My best friend Natalia read my blog and asked if she could borrow some of the words in it....I was like sure!

Sometimes things don't catch your attention the first couple of times...I read it and reread it and reread...then it hit me like WOW!!!! Those lyrics actually brought her to tears! Like the more I think about it, the more my eyes tear up. Also, I realized I'm a true artist...I draw, dance(step), sing (don't ask me to lol) and I play the drums at church.....my whole life has been surrounded by the arts and I enjoy doing all of them! It's destined that my life is in art...

But I feel like after realizing what's been going on in my life the Voyage has ended for me....Atlantis has been right in front me this whole....my heart...

I often ask myself, why did God make me the way I am? Why can't I be disrespectful to women or my parents? Or have some kind of anger in me when someone disrespects me? Why do I have a soft heart for women? Why do I understand them sometimes more than they do themselves? Why do I have the people in my life on my shoulders? Why is my motivation my friends and family? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Will I ever change for worse? I hope not....I want to be that guy who climbs that mountain for you. Whoever reads this blog....I want to be someone who is remembered by the world through my art....and through my art you will find my heart...............Atlantis............

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

From the Bellenization Process Files

Someone special brought this blog entry to my attention. I wrote this 8 November 2009.....after going back and reading it again.....I realized so much happened in my life it's a blessing to be where I'm at now...and for our feature presentation, I present to you..........The L Word

The L Word

My mind was like a time bomb waiting to explode,

of every single memory I didn't let go,

I put it into words so you can understand me.

when I look into the world and you see what I see.

Know the type of things I have to deal with.
I hear people saying that, people saying this.

Like it's easy to forgive than to forget.

Still holding on to whatever kind of grudge.

Could it be that being hurt gives a sudden rush?

Become so addicted its the closest thing to love

Beggin for more it's nothing less than drug,

keep askin the question why I can't get enough.

I'm so used to the fact my heart stays crushed

I wonder will I find the one that I can really trust

Or will it backfire on me turn into lust.

I gotta little faith, so I ain't giving up!
Wanting to be happy with my life is a must

I wanna fly high to the skies up above

to get away from the things that are just too much

these voices in my head saying listen to us

and do what we say if you want to be loved

There comes a time in everyone's life or I hope everyone, when it's time to grow up to become a man or woman.  Have a level of maturity and clarification  about what's next after you're tired of not having things go the way you always dreamed of.  

I remember at one point in my life, I just knew that I was a loser at everything I wanted to achieve in...When I had a girlfriend, I lost that...happy family with both parents, I lost that....keeping a home, I lost that...my mind, I lost that....

I felt like, I was important enough in this world to even be alive and maybe if I died then everything would be good....maybe it still would be......

The L word could mean whatever you want it to mean....LESBIAN, LIFE, LIVE, LOVE, LOSER, LAZY, etc....

The L word I'm talking about is LOVE....


LOL....I remember when I was talking to Courtney about Love one day, so much was coming out that I can't believe that what I was saying wasn't coming from my head....I think it went something like Love is perfect and she said that we as people don't know how to use it right or something like that...and I believe I was saying something about how love feels and stuff like that and at that moment I my heart was beating tremendously fast....like why is my heart doing this all of a sudden???

I Love to Love.....Love is perfect

I went home last week and Courtney said the L word...well first she had a surprise for me and I didn't have a single clue to what it may be.....she gave me hints but it wasn't coming together.....and she told She's in my arms forever....I LOVE YOU.....

Without hesitation, I said it back because I felt like I've told her a million times that I love her, but never did....and after I dropped her off at home, all I could think about was....Courtney said she love me!!!!!

I'm still thinking about that night, like WOW!!!! lol, just the thought of love and growing up and the future, and life in general....I feel like, Where am I going to go from here now?? I don't know

Who would've thought that what I wrote before I went to summer school would actually be so significant in my life when I was writing it for people who always lose at love

And I think I may have won!!

I love you so much Courtney that words can't express, my feelings

You take me high that I'm floating above the ceilings

I'm so ready for what God's has in store for us.

Making you and Shayla happy forever in me is a must.

The both of you make me the happiest guy in galaxy!

If you ever need anything just ask me!
Let's be the Love that people said never existed

Flying withouts wings, so baby lets get lifted!

Above the sky, past the stars, and into the land of forever.

The way I see things now, is YOU, SHAYLA, and I together!

Let's Make Love Last...


((FOREVER))


Byron Belle
::BMB+CCG::

Well I hope you enjoyed this presentation from "From the Bellenization Process Files" shouts out to my friend Lacii who is new to the blogging world! I'm here for you whenever you wanna talk! And much much much love to Güli who brought this blog to my attention :) Thank you!

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

From a Bunny to a Rabbit

Grow up! Be a man for once in my life. Once in my life. Once in my life. Grow up! And be a man for more than a night. More than a night. More than a night. Grow up! I got a lot of growing up to do. I can't wait to GROW UP! I got a lot of growing up to do!

Growing up....Your best friend becomes your worst enemies.
Lollipops turn into cigarettes.
The innocent ones turn into sluts.
Homework goes in the trash.
Detention becomes suspension.
Soda becomes alcohol.
Underwear becomes g-strings.
Kisses turn into sex.
Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground?
When protection meant wearing a helment?
When the worst tthings you could get from girls or boys were the cooties?
Your worst enemies were your siblings?
Race issues were about who ran the fastest?
War was only a card game?
The only drug you knew was cough medicine?
Wearing a skirt didn't you a slut.
The only thing that hurt were skinned knees.
Goodbyes only meant see you tomorrow.......
and to think we all couldn't wait to grow up........

Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::

Gone Fishin'

I don't know why we here, since we gotta be here. Life is but a beach chair. Went from having shabby clothes to crossing over Abbey Road. Hear my angels singing to me. I just hope I'm hearing right, karma's got me fearing like, Momma keep on praying for me. See, I got demons in my past, so I got daughter on the way. If the prophecy's correct, then the child shall have to pay. I hear my angels sing: Life is just a dream and they don't wanna wake up. Life is just a dream and they don't wanna leave.

After watching cartoons back in my day and seeing the sign GONE FISHIN' I always expected they would come back the same day. Apparently not, because I've been away for a few days......My first attempt at fishing was Thursday, and I didn't get any luck! Every time I looked away the fish would pop up out the water. I didn't see not one fish that day! Ok, but today I was determined to catch something! I had trouble throwing the bait in the water for about an hour and a half! lol.....Right when me and my friends were about to pack it up for the night. A fish grabbed the bait and I reeled that sucker in! THE END

So time is quickly approaching for me to leave for school yet once again for a long semester of sleepless nights. I'm no where near ready to leave, or better yet, I'm no where near prepared for this semester mentally. It probably won't hit me until school actually starts...I don't know if that's a good idea or a bad idea. I just wish my mind was set to expect the unexpected.....I may have to put my idea on hold for a few months but I won't forget about it at all, more like thinking about it and which direction I should go with it....Sometimes it gets frustrating because when I work on my idea, I get inspired by others that all of a sudden I feel like I need to start ALL OVER! I guess I'll go stand on the edge again and.........................


Love, Live, Life

:::Byron Belle:::