Misses so fly, crash lands in my room. Can't waste no time, she might leave soon. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't say you will, you do. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't say will, if you will. I pray you will.
The journey seems to get heavier with each song that plays. Right now, I'm able to manage this load, but soon it will get harder to walk. After reminiscing about my first girl. I press play on the ipod and Kanye West-Say You Will plays...Some of the songs that reminded me of my exes are not even closely related lyric wise....it just happen to be the song, I had on repeat when they came in and out of my life. This girl is someone special to me, even though we never actually made us official, we had a relationship.
Prior to our unofficial official relationship, we were just social friends. I would send her message and we would just talk about the current and left it at that. One day, I decided to chat with her through my hectic school schedule. Little did I know, she had more planned in our conversation than expected. Now I find it very interesting when a girl gives you their phone number without you asking them. I guess I didn't look at our friendship getting beyond just being friends because, like I said, I'm just the average Joe Schmo guy to public. So when she gave me her number, I was thinking cool, new text buddy. She actually called me. And we really kicked it off. I guess you can say, I played my part good. I kept a good, relaxed mind.
She was beautiful girl. Her senior year in high school. My freshmen year in college. I didn't know how this would work out, but hey, I'm willing to give it a shot. She was my best friend's enemy. His ex-girlfriend best friend. Lol. It was pretty crazy because I was really feeling this girl at the time and I didn't know how he would react to that situation. But all in all was cool. surprisingly. I was just ending my first semester of college, still trying to stay sane in all of my insanity. We figured that we would be official by Christmas day. It wasn't said, but it was all implied. I was ready, she was ready, but something completely turned that decision into a U-turn. It was all my fault, I lost control and she ran. I became so excited that I was talking to a really hot chick lol. So me being the nerd I am, began to say things that I didn't know if I meant. I guess all I wanted was to have her heart, and when I knew that I had it. I could let mine go and give it to her. It was only a few days before Christmas when she ran away. My heart quickly became heavy, but I was emotionally unstable. I was more of a content soul. Just thinking about what had happened. Another lonely year for me. Another lonely Christmas. Only the beat plays to Say You Will.... the heartbeat still shows that I'm alive...my moment of peace has been found. I can relax and try again....but when and with who?
I apologize for my insecurity. Or my security that defined the purity that's deep within me.
Let's make amends only to see. That maybe, just maybe. That camp fire is still smoking from when we left.
I must admit, that our little incident kinda grabbed me by the neck.
Here I stand, another year. All alone. The only thing I have now is friends, family, and a cell phone.
We were so close, I could see the finish line right in front me.
We were side by side when you decided to run from me.
Now what's the point of racing when you're the last one in it?
Should I continue, or should I just give in and quit it.
I thank one music artist who gave me confidence to stay strong, because without it
I could've been another dead and gone. But they ALWAYS say, what doesn't kill makes you strong.
Not having that special kind of love from being alone, does kill you. It kills your mentally.
It takes you away from reality, because in your mind. Time stopped moving.
Sometimes I wanna say forget Love, because I'm always losing!
I thought these Love songs would be my cheat codes for the game.
Only to find out the I always lose the same. With the faith I have, I continue to master the cheats
So I know that the game, would be another defeat. And if so, I'll learn my past and make better for my future.
I wish you the best, my Unofficial Official Ex. As for me, I have to start over fresh......
Love, Live, Life
:::Byron Belle:::
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