My shattered dreams and broken heart. Are mending on the shelf. I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else. Now I sit all alone wishing my feelings was gone. I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do. But have one last cry. One last cry, before I leave it all behind. I've gotta put you outta my mind this time. Stop living a lie. I guess I'm down to my last cry.
There comes a time in our lives where we want to find that special person to grow old with and be happy. That's what we all dream of, never wanting to deal with the bad times that comes along with it. If my theory is right, EVERY person we dreamed of being with for the rest of our life, we ONLY imagine the perfect moments. I always thought my journey had ended with her. Life seemed to be great for me at times. I had made up my mind that no matter what came in our way, I was gonna do my best to be there for her and her daughter. I guess I always wanted a family for my own. I was ready to grow up and be a man, at the age of nineteen. I always wanted to grow up as long as I can remember. Listening to love songs late at night before I went to bed. I just knew that growing up and love was the only thing on my mind......
Many people ask me, what made me want to date a girl with a daughter. I never planned on it, but your mind and heart work so differently that ultimately, if you're a true believer in love, then you're heart will always win. It just happened. We became a couple. I was at a point in my life where I was tired of short term relationships and just wanted something real for a change. She was beautiful. She had a daughter. I love kids with a passion. She was my best friend's baby mother. All of these reasons NOT to date her. But you should never judge a book by its cover.......We grew closer and closer to each other. "Are you at 10 yet? I'm at 8 right now." 10 meant that it was love. I will never forget the day she told me she loved me, and wanted to be in my arm forever. Forever is a long time right? I remember telling that my life was incomplete without her.
It happened so differently. Most people usually break up from lies and distrust and stuff like that. As she cried on the phone, she told me that she needed some time. In my mind, I'm thinking that we didn't break up, but her facebook status said otherwise. Then it hit me, as much as I wanted to cry that day, the tears never came out. God knows I tried and tried to cry, I just couldn't until the end of the year....We never made it to a year. Her feelings came back to her ex. A feeling that I knew existed, but didn't want to believe in. While I was trying everything I could to get her back, she was doing everything she could to get him back. I wanted her to see, that her ex was only gonna hurt her because that's all he did. He hurt her. It hurt me, to see her in pain. I was basically an emotional wreck for five months straight. Then my feelings for her began to fade slowly. I was at a point in my life, where I still waited for her, but didn't want it to seem like it. Soon enough they came back. All I could think about was why is she doing this to me. She's hurting me and doesn't realize it? I didn't know how to tell it to her, deep inside I was crying myself to sleep. I would wake up and have dreams about her everyday. I hated those dreams.....dreams that made me feel at my weakest point. There's a quote I remember....Sometimes its better to leave the glass shattered instead of hurting yourself trying to fix it. Something like that.......
Usually I would write a poem at the end of the blog, but this song explains it all.
I love you, no matter how different things may be.
It's time for me to finally let you go, so I can be free.
I can't cry any more. I need to live once again.
I was dead for nine months, hoping you would let me in.
But I stayed outside your window and watched you move on.
I tried to speak to you at night, I guess you couldn't hear my tone.
Whenever I dwell on life, I will always remember the joy we together.
It's almost the 17th and I'm no longer in your arms forever.
I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after had my
One last cry. One last cry. Before I leave it all behind. I gotta put you outta my mind, for the very last time. Been living a lie. I guess I'm down to my last cry.
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